One of the most frightening events to tackle is the dreaded networking event. Walking into an event on your own, knowing that you are there on a mission, is daunting. To generate perspective on how to navigate networking effectively, I turned to Ivan Misner, founder of BNI.com (the world’s largest networking organization), and the author of Networking Like a Pro.
Kimberly Whitler: Why is networking so challenging?
Ivan Misner: Networking can be nerve-wracking. As a professor myself, I know that not all business schools teach courses on networking skills and many students leave the university without a clue about how to network. One of the biggest mistakes people make when networking is that they use it as a business building opportunity instead of as a relationship building opportunity. Whenever I begin a keynote at a networking event I ask two important questions. First, “How many of you are here hoping to possibly sell something?” Usually the majority, if not the whole room, raises their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you are hoping to buy something?” Nobody raises their hands. Usually not even one single person. This phenomenon is what I call, The Networking Disconnect. Business people show up to events looking to promote or sell something but almost nobody is there to buy something. This is why networking goes off of the rails; people use it as a face to face cold-calling opportunity instead of a relationship building opportunity.
Whitler: What can businesspeople do to manage networking events more effectively?
Misner: Most importantly they need to start seeing networking not as a sales process but as a referral process. The foundation of everything I teach starts with the VCP Process®, which stands for visibility, credibility, and profitability. First you have to be visible in the community. Networking is more about farming then about hunting. People tend to jump over this. You have to know who you are and what you do. Credibility follows when people start to believe that you are good at what you do. Then, and only then, can you get to profitability and this happens because people in your network become willing to refer you to other people. This relationship building is not about what you know or even who you know, it’s about how well you know each other. Businesspeople get out into the real world and they are desperate for business, but Desperation is not referable and people are not going to refer you until you are credible.
Whitler: So how do you start by becoming more visible?
Misner: It’s about touchpoints. Establishing credibility is the same as establishing a friendship. If we meet once and don’t talk for 6 months, it’s unlikely we are friends. You need to go out for coffee occasionally. Or start a conversation based on a social media post that you saw on their LinkedIn page. Comment on things that they post or invite them to comment on a blog that you wrote. Build these relationships over time. Social capital is like financial capital, you cannot make a withdrawal before you make a deposit. You have to invest time in the relationship. When you find someone you want to network with ask them, “What can I do for you?”
Whitler: What can MBA students or businesspeople do to have a more successful networking experience?
Misner: There are a number of things. Don’t sell and don’t pitch. Everybody is doing that. You want to embrace discomfort. If you are uncomfortable, you are in the right place. Don’t be a sycophant to people you look up to. Don’t puppy-dog lick them to death. People know when they are being hit up for something. As much as possible, try and make a relevant connection. Use the context of the event to do so. Here is an example. When I met Jack Canfield, the famous creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, it was at a book signing for speakers. The problem was that the audience was still at dinner, and no one was at the signing. So I shared a story with him about a book signing I did where the only person who showed up was my mother. She acted like she was a fan and made such a big deal at the signing that people started crowding around to meet me. It was an incredible embarrassment that turned into a huge success. Jack laughed so hard that it helped us establish a relationship. I didn’t ask him for anything. I said it was a pleasure meeting him and that if there was anything I could ever do for him, I’d be happy to. Jack later invited me to join his leadership council.
A good networker should have 2 ears and one mouth and use them proportionately. You want to follow the branch of the conversation. If at all possible, add value. For example, if you know ahead of time what topics someone is interested in, do some research on a new article in that field. Say, “I recently read an interesting article on that topic, have you seen that? I will send you a link, what’s your email?”
The bottom line is, if you add value in a way that serves other people you will become a successful, and profitable, networker.